Collaborations
It's a Grammy tradition: a young artist is placed onstage alongside an old geezer. A hip hop artist duets with a country singer. A rapper teams up with an emo band.
Sometimes, it's magic. Usually, it's an unmitigated disaster.
Here are some of the collaborations planned for this evening:
Ed Sheeran, the red-headed shaggy-haired warbler, will be performing with ELO. I predict this will be the biggest train wreck of the evening.
Beck and Chris Martin (from Coldplay) will be fine, but bland.
Mary J. Blige and Sam Smith will probably be good. Ish.
Rihanna, Paul McCartney, and Kanye West will make me wish I were not a hearing man.
Common, John Legend, and Beyonce will perform a song from Selma. There will be some histrionics and oversinging here.
Hozier and Annie Lennox will perform. I don't know what a Hozier is, but Annie Lennox is the bomb.
Monsoon Martin
We've just been promised a performance by Jessie J and Tom Jones performing one of the most beloved songs ever. I don't know who Jessie J is, but this sounds really, really ominous.
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