DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK

"Don’t call it a comeback / I been here for years / Rockin’ my peers and puttin’ suckas in fear / Makin’ the tears rain down like a monsoon / Listen to the bass go boom / Explosion, overpowerin’ / Over the competition, I’m towerin’."

That’s LL Cool J, right there.  Ladies Love Cool James.  24 years ago.  Man.

Anyway, guys, thank you, for real, for your emails and words of concern when I said I was taking a hiatus.  What I’ve realized, though, is that I am a forecaster.  And forecasters gotta forecast.  It’s not even like a choice.  It’s like … a destiny and shit.

So there’s a low pressure system due to track up the east coast Tuesday night into Wednesday, which is the busiest travel day of the year.  It’s a Nor’easter, and rumors are swirling that it could produce eight to twelve inches of accumulation and travel miseries aplenty.

Back up the wagon, there, Hoss.  Put the horses back in the barn.  Pry your chaps out your crack.  So forth.

Here’s what I think:

Precipitation starts as rain on Wednesday morning about 7-9am.  Surface temperatures will be in the mid 30s at this point, rising to the upper 30s by noon.  Then temperatures will begin to fall; how quickly they do so and how pervasive that cold is in the atmosphere will determine how nasty it will get.  (Storm track as well.  This will all become clearer in the next few days.)

I think we begin seeing wet snow mixing in by 2pm.  Travel through mid-afternoon will be mostly problem-free.  The rain, which will be heavy at times, may cause some delays (particularly in roadways prone to flooding and for airlines, where low ceilings could pose a problem), but generally, travel should be fine.

Even when wet snow begins to mix in with the rain—and even when it begins to proper snow, as the cold air aloft makes its way down the column of air—the roads will just be wet.  Any afternoon accumulations will be on grassy and unpaved surfaces.

Wednesday evening is when you don’t want to be out and about so much.  From 6pm to about 11pm it will be snowing, and it will be a wet, obnoxious snow that will reduce visibility to about 2 ½ feet.  So travel delays on Wednesday from dinnertime on will be fairly widespread (driving or flying).

And then the wet snow tapers to flurries and snow showers, ending by about 6am Thursday.

Accumulations:

  • South Jersey, Delaware – an inch of accumulated wet snow at most
  • Philly, central Jersey – a wet inch; two inches at most
  • Chester County, Berks, Allentown, Montgomery County – one to three inches
  • Chance of cancellation Wednesday: 6%
  • Chance of early dismissal Wednesday: 18%

Full forecast for the coming week (and beyond) appears below.  But if you really only care about Wednesday’s thing, then stop reading.

This is David Hasselhoff (right) with Kid Cudi. Kid Cudi is not LL Cool J, but he is another rapper, so that counts.Monday 11/24: rain overnight, heavy at times, tapering by 8 or 9am.  Temperatures rising into the upper 60s behind that front.  Windy, too, in the afternoon, but it won’t be a brisk type of wind from the northwest; it will be a soupy wind from the south-southeast, like a mouthbreathing creeper respiring on your neck on the subway.

Tuesday 11/25: sunny and seasonable.  Getting windier and chillier as the day goes on.  Early high near 50, but then fall through the 40s into the 30s in the evening.

Wednesday 11/26: the thing I talked about above with the rain and the wet snow and whatnot.  Look at it.

Thursday 11/27: Some flurries possible early, then turning sunny and breezy.  High about 40.

Friday 11/28: Cloudy to start, then clearing.  Highs only in the mid 30s.

The weekend: highs in the lower 40s.  Overnight lows in the 20s.

Do you see any snow on the horizon? Nah.  I actually see a bit of a warming trend, with highs in the 40s or even 50s for the first half of December.  Next windows I am looking at include December 14-15 and December 20-21.  And December 24-25!

Stay tuned for updates!

Monsoon

Posted on Sunday, November 23, 2014 at 06:11PM by Registered CommenterMonsoon Martin | CommentsPost a Comment | EmailEmail | PrintPrint

My final delay/school closing percentages (until next winter).

Temperatures are falling quickly.  Right now (7:30pm) they range from 34 in Mount Penn to 38 in Cumru Township to 40 in Kenhorst.

So will we have sleet or snow?  And will we have a delay tomorrow?

I have already received reports of sleet mixing with the rain.  And the Doppler looks like this (see below) so there's plenty more where that came from.

I expect the precipitation to end by midnight.  Temperatures in most places will be in the lower 30s by that time, so we could see a little wet snow.  But no accumulation, nothing serious.

What's it going to be like when we're making our commute tomorrow morning?  Right around 7am?  About 26 degrees.  Winds out of the northwest at 20mph, sending wind chills into the teens.

But I don't see any travel issues.  Maybe a slick spot or two widely scattered throughout the land.

School percentages:

Chance of delay Tuesday, 16.65%

Chance of cancellation Tuesday, 2.41%

High will only be in the mid 40s with blustery conditions on Wednesday.  But temperatures rebound into the 50s on Thursday and Friday, then the 60s for the weekend.  (A few showers on Saturday should be the only blemish on an otherwise seasonably nice weekend.)

Quick shout-out to my homies over at Thug Notes.  Check out their deconstruction of multiple, unreliable narrators by (in my opinion) the greatest American cracker author.

Monsoon

Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2014 at 07:26PM by Registered CommenterMonsoon Martin | CommentsPost a Comment | EmailEmail | PrintPrint

Cold front to usher in dramatic temperature change

Friends of Monsoon,

There are rumblings about the potential for [expletive deleted] on Tuesday night.  Sure, it is going to be much colder.

In fact, we're going to see temperatures drop 30 degrees in 24 hours (from 74 at 7pm Monday to 44 at 7pm Tuesday) and 45 degrees in 36 hours (74 now; 29 by 7am Wednesday).

But [frozen crap]?!  Nah.  I don't see it.  (Except for the Great Lakes and western PA, where we see the rain end as wet snow, mainly covering grassy surfaces.)

Hasselhoff April Fool's Day photobomb. Absolutely #Hoffsome.Here's what to expect:

Showers develop by Tuesday morning and continue throughout the day.  Rain will likely be heavy at times, and some places will see some late-afternoon thunderstorms move through.  Most places will see about an inch of rain all told from this.

Temperatures stay in the 60s until about noon, when the wind will shift (from southerly to westerly) and temperatures will fall through the 50s throughout the afternoon.  40s by 6 or 7pm.  Rain ends by 10 or 11pm.

Becoming rather windy overnight.  Expect temperatures to dip just below freezing (32°F) by daybreak Wednesday.

Sure is going to be chilly on Wednesday: sunny but breezy, with highs only reaching 46.  Patchy frost late Wednesday night into Thursday morning, too.

The Hoff with the gigantic model-Hoff up for auction. (Though just days ago, The Hoff called the auction house and pulled the item from the auction, saying he couldn't bear to part with it. So if you guys had decided to pitch in on it as a surprise, the dream is over.)A little milder on Thursday with temperatures reaching in to the upper 50s.  Same thing Friday.  Partly sunny both days.

The weather picture is a little muddled thereafter, but it appears that Saturday will have some scattered showers, and then Sunday will be cloudy but dry.

And I don't see it getting what I would call unpleasantly warm (highs reaching above the 70s) again until mid-May...

Stay tuned for updates!!

Monsoon

Posted on Monday, April 14, 2014 at 06:52PM by Registered CommenterMonsoon Martin | CommentsPost a Comment | EmailEmail | PrintPrint

Winter Weather Advisory until Monday at 8am. (What the eff??)

Gift idea! Only $10K to get the bidding started. Check out the link at the bottom of this post.Alright, so the 75 inches of rain we got this weekend may end in some winter weather.  I know, I know.  I thought we were finished with the winter weather bull*#!@.  But no.  Places in central Pennsylvania are already seeing wet snow.  

Here's what to expect:

Temperatures will fall through the 30s overnight.  The winter weather advisory has been issued for Berks and Lehigh Counties (among other places), but I expect only the northernmost portions of these areas to be affected.  So when the winter weather advisory calls for "snow and sleet accumulations 1 to 2 inches along with a light coating of ice," I think only the highest elevations and northern areas in Berks are going to see anything like that.

So by 7 or 8am, we'll see temperatures down around freezing (32°F) with strong winds sending wind chills down into the lower 20s.

Also, with an inch and a half to two inches of rain in most places in PA (and 2 1/2 to 3 in many places in Jersey), we're seeing flooding issues and road ponding in the area.

In terms of the morning commute, the winter weather advisory says the winter weather could impact road travel, but I think the chances of that are remote (unless you're in, like, Shenandoah or Pottsville or Lehighton, or even Hamburg).  I don't see much chance for accumulating snow/sleet and do not think road surfaces will be cold enough to lead to slickness and whatnot.

Chance of delay Monday, 18%

Chance of cancellation Monday, 3%

Monday will turn out clearing but breezy; high of 54.

Tuesday and Wednesday look mostly sunny and milder still with highs both days in the mid 60s.

Cooler and rainy by the end of the week (highs in the mid 50s with rain both Thursday and Friday), but I'm thinking it clears for the weekend.

Stay tuned for whatever.

Monsoon

Check out the auction for the Hasselhoff oversized lifeguard figure.

Posted on Sunday, March 30, 2014 at 06:57PM by Registered CommenterMonsoon Martin | CommentsPost a Comment | EmailEmail | PrintPrint

Winter Storm Aretha, March 25, 2014

I have christened the upcoming storm Winter Storm Aretha because March 25th is the Queen of Soul's 72nd birthday.  My favorite Aretha Franklin song is 1985's "Freeway of Love," which may make some of you wonder, "What about 'Chain of Fools'?  What about 'R-E-S-P-E-C-T'?"  No.  It's "Freeway of Love," because it asks one of the most timeless and salient questions in the history of song: "How'd you get your pants so tight?"  Bit of trivia: I used to call her "Urethra" because I thought it was hilarious.  Alright: I still do, sometimes.

Also: the song is now in your head, and for that I am sorry, but not really.

It is Sir Elton John's 67th birthday on March 25th as well.  Elton John and Aretha Franklin did work together once - a treacly 1989 duet called "Through the Storm" that was beneath both of them.

It is also Gloria Steinem's 80th birthday (!).  If you don't know who she is, we can't be friends anymore.

And it's Domenick Lombardozzi's (Herc from "The Wire") 38th birthday.

The late, great blind blues guitarist Jeff Healey was born on March 25, 1966.  He is perhaps best known for his band's residency at the Double Deuce in the Patrick Swayze tour-de-force Road House.  (Note: if you have not seen Road House, stop reading immediately and find it and watch it.)

The late sportscasting Renaissance Man and legendary loudmouth Howard Cosell was born on March 25, 1918.

Rapper Juvenile (born Terius Gray) turns 39 on March 25th.  Juvenile, perhaps best-known for his hit song "Back that Thang Up," is not to be confused with Juvenal, the imperial Roman poet of the first and second centuries whose Satires are a widely influential verse condemnation of human deviance. 

Haywood Nelson, best known for his nuanced portrayal of Dwayne on "What's Happening!!" whose catchphrases included "Hey HEY Hey," "Uh UH!" and "Friendship is a sheltering tree."  (That last one might be from somewhere else.)  He is a Scientologist, which is kind of unsettling, and is the kind of troubling detail that you have come to expect here at the blog.

And finally, talking horse Sarah Jessica Parker, best known for her role in "Sex and the City," turns 49 on March 25th.

But the snow, Monsoon.  Tell us about the snow.

Alright, here's what.

Models have been trending east, so it's looking like a we'll just get a glancing blow from this storm.

Sunny, breezy, and cold on Monday with a high of only 35.

On Tuesday, expect to see overcast conditions with scattered snow showers and flurries between about 8am and noon, steadier snow possible in isolated areas in the afternoon, and tapering snow showers/flurries by midnight.  Here's why I think this isn't a big deal:

  • The storm track is favoring an eastern solution, so there's relatively little moisture available for us.
  • The bulk of the snow will fall during the daytime, and given the sun angle, it will struggle to accumulate on paved surfaces/sidewalks.
  • The lack of dramatic phasing will prevent low pressure from intensifying and creating a major storm.

So I think we're looking at an inch or two of accumulation on cars and grassy surfaces.

School percentages:

Chance of delay Tuesday, 15%

Chance of cancellation Tuesday, 6%

Chance of early dismissal Tuesday, 23%

Chance of delay Wednesday, 31%

Chance of cancellation Wednesday, 11%

Wednesday will be cold and quite windy, with a high in the mid 30s but wind chills in the low 20s.  We'll get down to 20 overnight, which is extremely low for this time of year.

But then!

Sunny and warmer on Thursday with a high of 49.

Milder still (with variable cloudiness and a few showers) on Friday with a high of 57.

The weekend looks just dandy: highs in the upper 50s.

April begins with a day in the 60s, then we'll run into some April showers, which are so clichéd.  Rainy and cool on April 2, 3, 4, and 5.

Thereafter, a delightful spring.

Stay tuned for updates!

Monsoon

Posted on Sunday, March 23, 2014 at 02:26PM by Registered CommenterMonsoon Martin | CommentsPost a Comment | EmailEmail | PrintPrint
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