The next segment is coming up (it's 9:23pm EST) and I am beginning to wonder how much longer I can stay up. I am coming off binge-watching the final season of "Burn Notice" on Netflix (go ahead, judge me) so my television time today is out of control.
Who is the ghost of Michael Hutchence onstage right now?
Annie Lennox didn't sound that great in that Church song, but in the Spell on Me song, she sounds amazing.
Oh, Annie. The fake-mouth-harmonica thing is not a good choice.
Annie Lennox is upstaging the shite out of this Irish kid.
Alright, so best country album. I think that's my cue.
"I love y'all." - Miranda Lambert
Some dumb shit called "The Weekend" just called world famous cellist Lang Lang "Long Long."
Alright, Lang Lang is a pianist. Whatever. At least I didn't call him Long Long.
Why is Pharrell dressed as the Lobby Boy from the Grand Budapest Hotel??
I might actually not make it if I were to watch the Chris Brown salute to the music of Stevie Wonder.
I am going to bed.
It's been real, y'all.
Nigel Rogers and Smokey Robinson are not all that articulate this evening.
Beyonce wins something. "I love you deep" she says to her husband, and she thanks her "beehive" for "riding so hard" .... what does that mean?
So this is Ed Sheeran with Herbie Hancock, John Mayer, and Questlove. I want to run onstage and rescue Herbie and Quest from this travesty.
Herbie doesn't get a solo, but John Mayer does??!
Little-known Monsoon trivia: I was well into my 20s before I realized that this song was "Evil Woman" and not "Medieval Woman" ...
ELO sounds good, actually. And there's Taylor Swift dancing in the front row, of course.
"Please welcome, Ryan Seacrest."
Kanye. He really thinks he is so much better than he actually is. Surely that's the kiss of death for any artist, or any talent, yes? The auto-tune is actually OUT OF TUNE. How can that be?
This Kanye performance is so bad. This song is so bad. I remember when he first came out - he showed such promise.
"Let's all give it up for our BITCH Madonna! (She made me call her that.)" - Miley
Madonna is 56 years old. FIFTY-SIX!!
The devil theme continues...
Somehow, in every Madonna performance, she ends up writhing around on the stage.
Josh Duhamel totally almost just fell up the stairs.
Best Rock Album - Beck. Christ, is he still around? U2 should have won.
Miranda Lambert is about to perform, then Madonna and then Kanye. I feel a torrent of vitriol coming.
Dierks Bentley is a person? I thought it was the name of a band.
How can anyone listen to country music? I am seriously asking.
Was there some sort of profanity that they just cut out? Maybe the song was just so bad that the audio was temporarily like, I can't.
Who are those children with Barry Gibb?
If Miley Cyrus wins a Grammy, I will forswear music forever.
Whew. That chubby little Sam Smith won again. I don't love the song, but he seems like a sweet kid.
And U2's "The Miracle of Joey Ramone" played as the third segment went to commercial...