Let me take this commercial break as an opportunity to remind you: I would welcome your comments. Looking back on the posts I have made in the past hour, I am starting to sound like a cranky old dude yawping unheard in the wilderness. So say something, if only to make me feel better.
Anna Kendrick introducing Ariana Grande.
Ariana Grande isn't really very good. And here is the obligatory orchestra added to a Grammy performance to make something pedestrian seem profound.
What is this tweeting everyone is talking about?
Jessie J's outfit is almost unbelievably atrocious.
As is their duet of this song.
Seriously, I cannot get over how bad her outfit is. And her hair! I cannot.
"Happy" wins best pop solo performance. Catchy little ditty. Pharrel is seems like a good guy
WAIT. What is with those capri pants???!
LL Cool J is introducing AC/DC!!! Kick ass.
Oh, they are OLD. Here's an instance when HDTV is not kind, or useful.
They handed out glow-in-the-dark devil horns for the "Highway to Hell" performance. It brings me joy to imagine every Christian conservative watching this and dropping to their collective knees in desperate prayer for a godless nation.
"Our evening has only begun and we're only getting started on the Highway to Hell."
LL Cool J just called Taylor Swift "my friend, T-Swizzle." I am done.
Have not heard of 3 of the 5 "Best New Artist" nominees. I am old.
It's a Grammy tradition: a young artist is placed onstage alongside an old geezer. A hip hop artist duets with a country singer. A rapper teams up with an emo band.
Sometimes, it's magic. Usually, it's an unmitigated disaster.
Here are some of the collaborations planned for this evening:
Ed Sheeran, the red-headed shaggy-haired warbler, will be performing with ELO. I predict this will be the biggest train wreck of the evening.
Beck and Chris Martin (from Coldplay) will be fine, but bland.
Mary J. Blige and Sam Smith will probably be good. Ish.
Rihanna, Paul McCartney, and Kanye West will make me wish I were not a hearing man.
Common, John Legend, and Beyonce will perform a song from Selma. There will be some histrionics and oversinging here.
Hozier and Annie Lennox will perform. I don't know what a Hozier is, but Annie Lennox is the bomb.
We've just been promised a performance by Jessie J and Tom Jones performing one of the most beloved songs ever. I don't know who Jessie J is, but this sounds really, really ominous.
The ET on POP red carpet Grammys coverage. The host just said that Madonna is wearing a "matadorical" look. Before tonight, matadorical was not a word.
What the hell is going on with Nancy O'Dell's hair? A horrifying mullet.
I just saw an ad for a new show by Eugene Levy called Schitt's Creek. Looks hilarious!!
Lady Gaga's faux-British accent is a bit much.
I have felt precious IQ points dribbling out of my brain during the ET interview with Kimye on the red carpet.